Avaliem minha redação em Inglês! O tema é sobre minha infância e para o meu curso de inglês. Urgente! Precisa usar o simple past e o verbo "used to". Adicionem mais ideias, não presica ser totalmente real.
My childhood
I was born in 1998. My name is Matheus and I cried a lot like other babies. My mom used to sing to me at bedtime. I didn't have brothers but I always had many people around me. When I was a kid I didn't have worries. I had a lot of free time to play and do many things.
I used to play with my friends at school and in the street. My favorite sport was soccer. I used to play it every week in the soccer field near my house. I used to play hide-and-seek and bets in the street, too. At home I used to get up early to watch cartoon on TV. I used to play video game with my friends. I had a lot of toys. My favorite ones were little cars. I used to carry them in everywhere. I used to play at the playground. I spent hours there on the weekends. I was neat. I didn't use to collect anything. I used to have a lot of hobbies. I used to draw. I didn't use to look very different. I had a cat. I used to travel to my grandparents house. I used to listen to my teachers. My mom used to check my homework, maybe she msde me be a studious boy. My mom used to cut onions in small pieces to me.
I had an amazing childhood. It was the happiest time of my life. I was very happy with a simple life and I didn't know.
My childhood
I was born in 1998. My name is Matheus and I cried a lot like other babies. My mom used to sing to me at bedtime. I didn't have brothers but I always had many people around me. When I was a kid I didn't have worries. I had a lot of free time to play and do many things.
I used to play with my friends at school and in the street. My favorite sport was soccer. I used to play it every week in the soccer field near my house. I used to play hide-and-seek and bets in the street, too. At home I used to get up early to watch cartoon on TV. I used to play video game with my friends. I had a lot of toys. My favorite ones were little cars. I used to carry them in everywhere. I used to play at the playground. I spent hours there on the weekends. I was neat. I didn't use to collect anything. I used to have a lot of hobbies. I used to draw. I didn't use to look very different. I had a cat. I used to travel to my grandparents house. I used to listen to my teachers. My mom used to check my homework, maybe she msde me be a studious boy. My mom used to cut onions in small pieces to me.
I had an amazing childhood. It was the happiest time of my life. I was very happy with a simple life and I didn't know.
Lista de comentários
1-) No começo, a parte 'I cried a lot like other babies" não ficou bem colocada. Tipo, você estava falando que seu nome é Matheus e do nada você fala que chorava muito? Você precisava terminar de falar de você e das suas características, e depois falar do seu comportamento. Por exemplo:
"My name is Matheus, I was born in 1998 and I was a very boring baby, because I almost left my mom crazy. I was a child who cried a lot."
2-) Outra coisa, você poderia juntar mais as frases, senão parece que você está respondendo algumas perguntas em vez de contar uma história. Por exemplo:
"I had a lot of toys and my favorite ones were little cars."
3-) Há um erro de digitação também, você escreveu '...maybe she msde..'. Acredito que você quis dizer "made".
4-) However, congratulations! Your writing is very good. Take care!