bonjour j'ai un devoir maison a rendre pour 18h mais je crois qu'il y a beaucoup de fautes de grammaire
est ce que quelqu'un serait capable de me les corriger ?
Merci d'avance
LE DM :
This document is composed of two articles. The first one is a comics with two men in a car and the second is an article with a text and a comic. They deal with the new technology who impacted the daily life because it resolves bread ans butter issues. I don't know the name of the artist of the comis but for the text I know it is drawn by a newspaper report.
Does progress make our life easier ?
As a starting point, I am going to describe and analyse the first document and i am going to do the same for the second.
Firstly, this document is a comics which introduces two men who lavish in wealth. In the right, the men explains all the thing he can do in the can like call his wife, send an e-mail to his boss or surf on a website at the same time he drives his car. But he asks his neighbour to the left and say if he forget anything and he says "driving'. This comis is very interesting because we can evalue the danger of doing two things at the same time while driving. Maybe the technology is in progress but this technology killed some people because they are more awe-struck and engrossed with all the technology in the car than the road. And the technology is the crux of the matter about the cars accident.
Secondly, this other document is a comics with a seamstress of "big brother" as a little robot who is overlooked and he is cast aside by an other robot called Facebook by saying that it is an "amateur" . Thus we understand that Facebook is higher than Big Brother. After, there is a text who talk about some poeple who are victim about the social media like My Space or Facebook. But this text want to appeal to people to take care of themselves about their social media and want they post it because it may turn against you in future years as when you want to look for a job and you can be under the sway of Facebook about all the photo you share regardless. So all of this monitoring, the government handle thier life from dawn to dusk.
To sum up, this document wants to explains that all of this social media can strikes a blow to their freedom and to becareful with this technology. Thus, no this progress doesn't make our life easier.
est ce que quelqu'un serait capable de me les corriger ?
Merci d'avance
LE DM :
This document is composed of two articles. The first one is a comics with two men in a car and the second is an article with a text and a comic. They deal with the new technology who impacted the daily life because it resolves bread ans butter issues. I don't know the name of the artist of the comis but for the text I know it is drawn by a newspaper report.
Does progress make our life easier ?
As a starting point, I am going to describe and analyse the first document and i am going to do the same for the second.
Firstly, this document is a comics which introduces two men who lavish in wealth. In the right, the men explains all the thing he can do in the can like call his wife, send an e-mail to his boss or surf on a website at the same time he drives his car. But he asks his neighbour to the left and say if he forget anything and he says "driving'. This comis is very interesting because we can evalue the danger of doing two things at the same time while driving. Maybe the technology is in progress but this technology killed some people because they are more awe-struck and engrossed with all the technology in the car than the road. And the technology is the crux of the matter about the cars accident.
Secondly, this other document is a comics with a seamstress of "big brother" as a little robot who is overlooked and he is cast aside by an other robot called Facebook by saying that it is an "amateur" . Thus we understand that Facebook is higher than Big Brother. After, there is a text who talk about some poeple who are victim about the social media like My Space or Facebook. But this text want to appeal to people to take care of themselves about their social media and want they post it because it may turn against you in future years as when you want to look for a job and you can be under the sway of Facebook about all the photo you share regardless. So all of this monitoring, the government handle thier life from dawn to dusk.
To sum up, this document wants to explains that all of this social media can strikes a blow to their freedom and to becareful with this technology. Thus, no this progress doesn't make our life easier.
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Réponse :
Salut j'ai pas changer grand chose car ça me semble assez correct voilà ma version:
This document consists of two articles. The first is a comic strip with two men in a car and the second is an article with text and a comic strip. They deal with new technology that has impacted everyday life because it solves problems.
I do not know the name of the artist of the comic strips but for the text I know that it is extracted from a newspaper report.
Does progress make our lives easier?
first I will describe and analyze the first document and I will do the same for the second.
First of all, this document is a comic strip that presents two wealthy men. On the right, the men explain everything he can do in the box like calling his wife, sending an email to his boss, or surfing a website while driving his car. But he asks his neighbor on the left to say if he forgets something and he says "drive". This comic strip is very interesting because we can assess the danger of doing two things at the same time while driving. Maybe the technology is underway but this technology has killed some people because they are more impressed and absorbed by all the technology of the car than of the road. And technology is at the heart of the car accident issue.
Secondly, this other document is a comic strip with a seamstress of "big brother" like a little robot who is neglected and it is put aside by another robot called Facebook saying that it is an "amateur". Thus, we understand that Facebook is superior to Big Brother. Next, there is a text that talks about some who are victims of social networks like My Space or Facebook. But this text wants to encourage people to take care of themselves on their social networks and publish them, because this could backfire on you in the years to come, like when you want to look for a job and you can be under Facebook's grip on all the photos you share anyway. So, during all this surveillance, the government manages its life from dawn to dusk.
To sum up, this document wants to make us understand that all of these social media can damage their freedom and pay attention to this technology. So none of these advances make our lives easier.
Comme j'ai dit Très peur de choses on changer. j’espère t'avoir aider
Explications :
Réponse :Line 2 write a comic without an s. Also where there is written"Firstly, this document is a comics" don't put an s. Put an s only if the word is in plurial. "in the right is also wrong its on the right." " the men explains all the thing" there is also a few mistakes like instead of men put man because you are talking about only one person and the word and "explains the thing" is explains the things. there a part where you wrote forget pls add an s at the end and you will have a good grade. "we can evalue" write we can value its for sutable for your text. I hope that I helped you improve don't hesitate to ask me to correct your text if you would like some help or you're unsure.
Explications :