Oral bac en Anglais LV1 espaces & echanges

Bonjour,

Je passe mon oral d'anglais dans très peu de temps et je vous demande donc un peu d'aide pour corriger mon texte et voir ce que vous en pensez, merci d'avance

I’m going to talk about the notion spaces and exchanges. First of all I would like to give a definition of this notion. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupy and the interactions between men and different societies. Our world is built on the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The different cultural, economic, sociological and language interactions have shaped and characterized our modern-day world.
In order to illustrate this notion, I’m going to talk about the Gap Year and attempt to answer the question “To what extent is it a good way to take a break to spend a year abroad?” to answer this question I will use document study in class in three parts first “go abroad for visiting “secondly “A gap year to work” finally “no drawback”.
1: Go abroad for visiting
A gap year is a period during which a student takes a break after completing his studies and before starting college or university. The student may decide to go abroad. I will start with the trip part. We studied in class Woofing and couch surfing. These two systems allow you to travel abroad without much expense, to enjoy the landscapes, the culture of the country.
These two systems consist of being fed and housed free of charge against an exchange of services. For woofing it's the fact of travelling and stopping working in an organic farm for a few weeks. The concept is described in one of the documents, in the morning you have to work, water the plants, feed the animals, and the afternoon is free. Couch surfing works more day-to-day and allows you to make a road trip.
The hosts are checked on websites, and most of the time the reviews are very favourable.
2: A gap year to work
We also studied two other programs. There is au pairing and Erasmus. These two programs make it possible to work, one at the university level and the other within a family. Erasmus is an exchange program between different universities around the world. The goal is to take courses in another country to better get acquainted with it to have experience in certain fields. In "My year abroad was terrible" which is an article by Annie Foyster published in The Guardians, a young woman of 20 tells her experience of Erasmus. She says that at the beginning she did not integrate and then she ended by saying that this year was the best thing that could have happened to her.
Au Pairing is a program that allows to 20 year olds people to find a job abroad and takes care of children in their home for a minimum of 6 months. the goal is for you to acquire vocabulary and learn the habits of the country. A study shows that you learns better a language in contact with children. This program is interesting and allows you to learn how families from different backgrounds and countries live, it allows you to travel to other countries and visit during your free time. Au pairing is the only remunerative program presented here.
3: No drawback
The only inconvenient things that we missed during a gap year may be the family, and our habits. These ways of travelling have very few drawbacks. Travelling allows you to meet new people, meet local people, practice in another language and improve your language skills. These are experiences like this one that must be highlighted on a CV, it can allow you to open doors that could have remained closed without these programs.

Ccl: To conclude, the notion “Spaces & Exchanges” is illustrated there by the fact that going on a gap year is an opportunity to discovers a new country, to move into an another space, ant to exchange with foreigners, discover other way of lives, new cultures