I never talk to my shitty excuse of a sister because she's the very worst human being to have ever walked this Earth.

I never take care or adopt cats out of pure hatred for felines.

I never forget to take my meds because I'm looking forward to improving my health by doing so.

I never vacuum the house because I have a severe dust mite allergy that keeps me from doing it. Someone else has to vacuum my place while I'm out and I have to stay away for at least two hours after the whole thing is done.

I never drive buses or trucks because my driving licence only allows me to drive regular cars.

I never go rollerblading because I don't own a pair of rollerblades and I find rentals nasty.

I never have good thoughts regarding my late father because, in retrospect, he was a rather terrible father to me and many of my self-steem problems can be traced back to his behaviour towards me.

I never laugh out loud because I was ridiculed as a child for it.

I never do anything interesting because I'm often too sad to work up the courage to change things a bit.

I no longer drink alcoholic beverages because my skin has flared up upon having some drinks in the past so I sorta gave up (entirely, for now).