pourriez vous m'aider à ameliorer mon oral, dans les formulations de phrases et en orthographe, vocabulaire svp.
il porte sur le nouvel album d orelsan
Hello everyone. I'll speak u about the new album of the french rapper ORELSAN. But firstly, let's sum up his story. Aurelien Cotentin alias orelsan was a middle class people coming from Caen, he started the music with a low-budget mixtape named "Perdu d'avance" where he tells us the youth passion, then the success hits him, therefore he fast went on with an album called "le chant des sirènes". Six years later, in 2017, he released "la fête est finie" in wich he spoke about the end of the Young, and what's being an adult. --- TAKE A BREAK --- So, 3 weeks ago, on November the 19th, he released his last album " CIVILISATION ". It's the first album in which he do concious rap. That's to say, the first time he's politically engaged. Especially in the song "Manifeste" which us more a story than a music. He criticizes the lack of discussion between peoples, particular in social media where debates are just opinions without any uncompromising, consequently nothing can be improved, all debates are condemn to remain as they are now. In an other song, he criticizes the functioning of the society, like the facts that our clothes and objects are made by poor people all around the world before to be in our hands. Moreover he discloses some ecological problems linked to our favoured lifes. I will explain you the flag on the cover of his album. First-of-all, blue and red are the colours of France. Secondly, the green part represents tne Nature. Then, the shuriken on the middle remind us the japan culture, of wich he's fan. Besides, the name of the first song is a japanese reference " shonen ". Overall, in this new album, we can discover the evoltion of the mindset of a young and cool orelsan who was famous to be a "i don't care" guy. Now he's 40 years old, orelsan try to be a better persons for others and for the world and invites his audience to follow him in this way.
thanks for your help !
il porte sur le nouvel album d orelsan
Hello everyone. I'll speak u about the new album of the french rapper ORELSAN. But firstly, let's sum up his story. Aurelien Cotentin alias orelsan was a middle class people coming from Caen, he started the music with a low-budget mixtape named "Perdu d'avance" where he tells us the youth passion, then the success hits him, therefore he fast went on with an album called "le chant des sirènes". Six years later, in 2017, he released "la fête est finie" in wich he spoke about the end of the Young, and what's being an adult. --- TAKE A BREAK --- So, 3 weeks ago, on November the 19th, he released his last album " CIVILISATION ". It's the first album in which he do concious rap. That's to say, the first time he's politically engaged. Especially in the song "Manifeste" which us more a story than a music. He criticizes the lack of discussion between peoples, particular in social media where debates are just opinions without any uncompromising, consequently nothing can be improved, all debates are condemn to remain as they are now. In an other song, he criticizes the functioning of the society, like the facts that our clothes and objects are made by poor people all around the world before to be in our hands. Moreover he discloses some ecological problems linked to our favoured lifes. I will explain you the flag on the cover of his album. First-of-all, blue and red are the colours of France. Secondly, the green part represents tne Nature. Then, the shuriken on the middle remind us the japan culture, of wich he's fan. Besides, the name of the first song is a japanese reference " shonen ". Overall, in this new album, we can discover the evoltion of the mindset of a young and cool orelsan who was famous to be a "i don't care" guy. Now he's 40 years old, orelsan try to be a better persons for others and for the world and invites his audience to follow him in this way.
thanks for your help !
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Réponse :
Hello everyone. I'm talking about the new album by French rapper ORELSAN. But first, let's summarize its story. Aurélien Cotentin alias Orelsan was a bourgeois/middle class from Caen, he started music with a low-budget mixtape called "Perdu d'avance" where he tells us about the passion of youth, then success hits him, so he quickly chained with an album entitled "Le chant des sirènes". Six years later, in 2017, he released "the party is over" in which he talks about the end of the Young, and what it is to be an adult. --- TAKE A BREAK --- So, 3 weeks ago, on November 19th, he released his latest album "CIVILIZATION". This is the first album in which he does conscious rap. That is to say the first time he is politically involved. Especially in the song "Manifeste" which tells us more a story than a simple music. He criticizes the lack of discussion between peoples, especially on social media where debates are only opinions without any compromise, therefore nothing can be improved, all debates are doomed to remain as they are now. In another song, he criticizes how society works, such as the fact that our clothes and things are made by poor people all over the world before they are in our hands. In addition, it reveals some ecological problems linked to our privileged lifestyles. I'll explain the flag on the cover of his album. First, blue and red are the colors of France. Second, the green part represents Nature. Then the middle shuriken reminds us of Japanese culture, of which he is a fan. By the way, the name of the first song is a Japanese reference "shonen". Overall, in this new album, we can discover the evolution of the state of mind of a young and cool Orelsan who was known to be an "I don't care" guy. Now 40 years old, Orelsan tries to be a better person for others and for the world and invites his audience to follow him on this path/way.
Explications :
Salut ! j'ai un peu changer ton texte, c'est vraiment bien ce que tu as fait mais quelque partie peuvent etre un peu mieux.
Alors tout ce qui est en gras c'est ce que j'ai changer.
Et ce qui est en gras et souligner c'est ce que j'ai changer mais que tu peux aussi laisser ce que tu as marqué, cela te laisse 2 possibillité.
j'espère que je t'aurais aidé :)