Oral bac notion Spaces and exchanges
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Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mes erreurs s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses et bonne lecture !
Spaces and exchanges
I’m going to talk about the notion of Spaces and exchanges. To start with, I’d like to give a definition of this concept: Spaces and exchanges can be material or intangible. Material spaces are the whole Earth, any place you can be there to live, communicate and make material exchanges which are flow of capital, goods or human using vehicles especially. Intangible spaces are virtual platforms as Internet where you can communicate and make virtual exchanges, which are flow of virtual capital and data, like videos, pictures or text. To focus on material spaces and exchanges especially, we will pay attention to the flow dealing with the American Dream, because it drew lots of migrants to the USA during the past centuries, but today, some people question it. This founding myth helped to promote this new country to European people. The American Dream was the belief that anyone could made a fresh start in America, to be free and rich.
So, we may wonder, to what extend the American Dream has been a hope for migrants? I will concentrate on the last fifteen years, on the way people deal with the American Dream and with immigration, through its pros and cons.
Fareed Zakaria wrote an article untitled “How to restore the American Dream” in which he explores this multi-faceted dream. He explains that when he was a young Indian boy, in the Seventies, America seemed dazzling, with huge open spaces and beautiful skyscrapers, through TV shows like Dallas. A few years later, when he came in United States to study, he visited his friends’ hometowns, and he tells he was astonished of the spacious suburban houses people could afford, whenever they had modest jobs. As Zakaria said, the real American Dream of those post-war years was not fancy cars or shining cities, but this middle-class optimism, this sunny attitude people had toward life.
Another example of an immigrant who came to the USA is the one told in the oral comprehension called “A new American”. This immigrant tells us, when he arrived into this new country, he had 67 dollars in his pocket, and he spent about all of his money on the trip to the north of California. Then, he realized he had an opportunity to achieve the American Dream, by working hard. As he says, this hope of a bright future for immigrant has changed, but is still based on the same values. He wanted to earn money to feed his family and to afford a good education for his children, and nowadays, this is the same dream, even if it’s harder to achieve it, because borders have become stricter than in the twentieth century.
Indeed, immigration in the USA today seems to be a real social issue. In a speech delivered in 2015, Barack Obama expresses his desolation about the terrible social conditions faced by migrants in the country. He claims his will to fix this broken immigration system, because of the incapacity to solve this issue from Congress. In fact, undocumented workers lived a constant state of fear, because they are likely to lose their job in everyday-life. Moreover, migrants who try to cross the border between Mexico and USA risk their own life, and thousands of them died every year in this dangerous journey.
Finally, to conclude with the notion of Spaces and exchanges, we saw that the idea of the American Dream is drastically different in people minds. According to Fareed Zakaria, this dream does exist, but is not a fantastic utopia as shown in TV shows, just a peaceful and good living condition. The second immigrant I talked about thinks that the American Dream still exists as he used to, but is harder to achieve today because of the national isolation policy. The speech of Obama proves this idea, because undocumented migrants are less integrated in the American society than before.
Bonjour à tous !
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait corriger mes erreurs s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses et bonne lecture !
Spaces and exchanges
I’m going to talk about the notion of Spaces and exchanges. To start with, I’d like to give a definition of this concept: Spaces and exchanges can be material or intangible. Material spaces are the whole Earth, any place you can be there to live, communicate and make material exchanges which are flow of capital, goods or human using vehicles especially. Intangible spaces are virtual platforms as Internet where you can communicate and make virtual exchanges, which are flow of virtual capital and data, like videos, pictures or text. To focus on material spaces and exchanges especially, we will pay attention to the flow dealing with the American Dream, because it drew lots of migrants to the USA during the past centuries, but today, some people question it. This founding myth helped to promote this new country to European people. The American Dream was the belief that anyone could made a fresh start in America, to be free and rich.
So, we may wonder, to what extend the American Dream has been a hope for migrants? I will concentrate on the last fifteen years, on the way people deal with the American Dream and with immigration, through its pros and cons.
Fareed Zakaria wrote an article untitled “How to restore the American Dream” in which he explores this multi-faceted dream. He explains that when he was a young Indian boy, in the Seventies, America seemed dazzling, with huge open spaces and beautiful skyscrapers, through TV shows like Dallas. A few years later, when he came in United States to study, he visited his friends’ hometowns, and he tells he was astonished of the spacious suburban houses people could afford, whenever they had modest jobs. As Zakaria said, the real American Dream of those post-war years was not fancy cars or shining cities, but this middle-class optimism, this sunny attitude people had toward life.
Another example of an immigrant who came to the USA is the one told in the oral comprehension called “A new American”. This immigrant tells us, when he arrived into this new country, he had 67 dollars in his pocket, and he spent about all of his money on the trip to the north of California. Then, he realized he had an opportunity to achieve the American Dream, by working hard. As he says, this hope of a bright future for immigrant has changed, but is still based on the same values. He wanted to earn money to feed his family and to afford a good education for his children, and nowadays, this is the same dream, even if it’s harder to achieve it, because borders have become stricter than in the twentieth century.
Indeed, immigration in the USA today seems to be a real social issue. In a speech delivered in 2015, Barack Obama expresses his desolation about the terrible social conditions faced by migrants in the country. He claims his will to fix this broken immigration system, because of the incapacity to solve this issue from Congress. In fact, undocumented workers lived a constant state of fear, because they are likely to lose their job in everyday-life. Moreover, migrants who try to cross the border between Mexico and USA risk their own life, and thousands of them died every year in this dangerous journey.
Finally, to conclude with the notion of Spaces and exchanges, we saw that the idea of the American Dream is drastically different in people minds. According to Fareed Zakaria, this dream does exist, but is not a fantastic utopia as shown in TV shows, just a peaceful and good living condition. The second immigrant I talked about thinks that the American Dream still exists as he used to, but is harder to achieve today because of the national isolation policy. The speech of Obama proves this idea, because undocumented migrants are less integrated in the American society than before.
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I’m going to talk about the notion of Spaces and exchanges. To start with, I’d like to give a definition of this concept: Spaces and exchanges can be material or intangible. Material spaces are the whole Earth, any place you can be there to live (any place where you can live), communicate and make material exchanges which are flow of capital, goods or human using vehicles especially. Intangible spaces are virtual platforms as the Internet where you can communicate and make virtual exchanges, which are the flow of virtual capital and data, like videos, pictures or text. To focus on material spaces and exchanges especially, we will pay attention to the flow dealing with the American Dream, because (. It drew...) it drew lots of migrants to the USA during the past centuries, but today, some people question it (are questioning it). This founding myth helped to promote this new country to European people. The American Dream was the belief that anyone could made a fresh start in America, to be free and rich.
So, we may wonder, to what extend the American Dream has been a hope for migrants? I will concentrate on the last fifteen years, on the way people deal with the American Dream and with immigration, through its pros and cons.
Fareed Zakaria wrote an article untitled “How to restore the American Dream” in which he explores this multi-faceted dream. He explains that when he was a young Indian boy, in the Seventies (70’s) , America seemed dazzling, with huge open spaces and beautiful skyscrapers, through TV shows like Dallas. A few years later, when he came in United States to study, he visited his friends’ hometowns, and he tells he was astonished of the spacious suburban houses people could afford, whenever they had modest jobs. As Zakaria said, the real American Dream of those post-war years was not fancy cars or shining cities, but this middle-class optimism, this sunny attitude people had toward life.
Another example of an immigrant who came to the USA is the one told in the oral comprehension called “A new American”. This immigrant tells us, when he arrived into this new country, he had 67 dollars in his pocket, and he spent about all of his money on the trip to the north of California. Then, he realized he had an opportunity to achieve the American Dream, by working hard. As he says, this hope of a bright future for immigrant has changed, but is still based on the same values. He wanted to earn money to feed his family and to afford a good education for his children, and (. Nowadays…) nowadays, this is the same dream, even if it’s harder to achieve it, because borders have become stricter than in the twentieth century.
Indeed, immigration in the USA today seems to be a real social issue. In a speech delivered in 2015, Barack Obama expresses his desolation about the terrible social conditions faced by migrants in the country. He claims his will to fix this broken immigration system, because of the incapacity to solve this issue from Congress. In fact, undocumented workers lived a constant state of fear, because they are likely to lose their job in everyday-life. Moreover, migrants who try to cross the border between Mexico and USA risk their own life, and thousands of them died every year in this dangerous journey.
Finally, to conclude with the notion of Spaces and exchanges, we saw that the idea of the American Dream is drastically different in people minds. According to Fareed Zakaria, this dream does exist, but is not a fantastic utopia as shown in TV shows, just a peaceful and good living condition. The second immigrant I talked about thinks that the American Dream still exists as he used to, but is harder to achieve today because of the national isolation policy. The speech of Obama proves this idea, because undocumented migrants are less integrated in the American society than before.
Explications :
gras: faute ou mauvaise formulation
entre parenthèses et en italic: correction.
Conseil: coupe tes phrases. Certaines sont longues et vu que c'est un oral, ça va t'handicaper plus qu'autre chose.
Voilà! J'espère avoir pu t'aider!